A Jensen Muse Post

Jensen Christmas 2023

by | Oct 11, 2023 | Family Relationships, Heart

Well some terrible things have happened this year to me and should I hold back from living a full life because I’m divorced? The answer is no, but that is easier said than done. I’m still grieving and working through my self doubts and fears of being lonely, but I’m going out of my comfort zone on many things. I’m guessing when you read this Christmas letter you will sense my fears. I hope you give me the benefit of the doubt and see I am trying to live life while following Jesus. If you have similar fears, I hope to give you some encouragement that things will get better as we move along Jesus’ covenant path. I love you and please have a joyful and merry Christmas.

Love,

Jeffery J. Jensen

Plant your fruit trees. Cultivate them, fertilize them, watch them grow, and enjoy the fruit thereof. If the end comes during the process, so what? Do not deprive yourself of enjoying the fruits of your labors by living in fear of the world’s problems that lie ahead.

Elder Boyd K. Packer, quoted by Elder M. Russell Ballard, Do Things That Make a Difference, Ensign, June 1983

January 2023

January 7 – Andrew and DiSean (and his daughters Mia and Lauren) went skiing at Snowbasin UT.

January 14 – Andrew and Corby drove down from Salt Lake City to go to student conference at California Hotel.

February 2023

February 11 – Kent Ellsworth funeral. He was a father figure to me and with his help and guidance, I built my guest house in 1987-88 where Cindy and I lived until Andrew was born. He was a very good man and I’m trying to be loving and outgoing just as was.

Bobi & Kent Ellsworth

March 2023

March 6 – My birthday, I turned 54 years old. I need to live my life as I’m failing to do the 3 things every man needs.

Men need a battle to fight, an adventure to live and a beauty to rescue.

Wild at Heart by John Eldredge

Yes, I had terrible things happen to me but I’m still press forward

Arise from the dust, my sons, and be men

2 Nephi 1:21

What will be my role model of the man I should emulate?

The Lord asked His disciples what manner of men they should be and then answered, ‘Verily I say unto you, even as I am’ (3 Nephi 27:27 and 3 Nephi 18:24).

Let Us Be Men by Elder D. Todd Christofferson, October 2006 General Conference

From the same talk by Elder Christofferson

We must arise from the dust of self-indulgence and be men! It is a wonderful aspiration for a boy to become a man – strong and capable; someone who can build and create things, run things; someone who makes a difference in the world. It is a wonderful aspiration for those of us who are older to make the vision of true manhood a reality in our lives and be models for those who look to us for an example.

Let Us Be Men by Elder D. Todd Christofferson, October 2006 General Conference

April 2023

April 4 – Bishop interview with Cameron Steele. He said I was doing fine spiritually but needed to work on the following 1) socialize and be outgoing. Be proactive. Be active, not idle. Lose weight and gain confidence. Alter Ego such as Clark Kent and Superman. 2) be decisive as this is very attractive. What do I really want? My confidence will increase when I give my word to do something and Do It! Integrity is the ability to keep my word. 3) allow people to help me, even ask someone for help. That I can call Bishop Steele or Sam Bainbridge anytime. And 4) join a gym, such as Burn Boot Camp. This costs me $169 a month but it has been worth it. I consistently workout 4-6 a week, have a community of female friends and Raquel is a member of the same gym in North Carolina.

May 2023

May 12 – Last day at Lochsa. I enjoyed working with Guy, Stacy, Ted, Justinian, Bruce, Jessica and others. Lots of good people here.

May 15 – started my new civil engineering job at Willdan, working for Chris Stone, who has turned out to be a kind friend. We typically do a break walking around the office complex. Bill Jensen, my counselor, said I needed to have more “guy” friends, especially while I heal from divorce. Here is a picture with Chris Stone and Glenn Hale (worked with at Clark County 2004-2008)

Willdan Engineering – Jeff, Glenn, Chris

May 22 – joined Burn Boot Camp, this is my fitness coach McKenzie (she was pregnant with her 3rd child and still in way better shape than me)

May 23 – my marriage of 36 years ended in a divorce and the paperwork was finalized today. It has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m working counselors, Church leaders and other professionals to help me with forgiving myself, Cindy and God. Over time, I see it is turning into a blessing as I’m drawing closer to Jesus and allowing him to fill the voids in my life.

The major things I failed on that contributed to my divorce: immaturity, selfishness, shortcomings in my personality, poor communication, failure to resolve conflicts, pouting/sullen when I didn’t get my way, under-employment problems between 2008-2016, lack of confidence in myself, and at the end excessive emotional needs that I didn’t resolve myself and expected others to do it.

With regard to Cindy’s part there is a saying “Is it necessary, is it true and is it kind.” You will have to ask her yourself. I lived through the wholething and don’t know the full truth. Saying my part of the story isn’t kind and won’t heal anything. And in the end, it isn’t necessary. My focus is living in the present, dealing with my own emotional baggage and moving forward with courage that Jesus will help and heal me.

May 28 – I went to visit Brittany in Idaho along with Andrew and Rachel. I got a blessing from Andrew and Brannan and feel that was my turning point, instead of forward and downward, I started my ascent forward and upward. Afterwards Brannan gave me a hug and said they are there for me. This was a like a shot of comfort in my arm, as I was feeling very lonely, even when around my children.

June 2023

June 2 – I flew out to North Caroline to visit Raquel. We visited Grandfather Mountain (https://grandfather.com) and the Mile High Swinging Bridge.

June 5 – I moved in to Tex Dillard’s home (Cindy and I where living in separate bedrooms for sometime before the divorce was finalized in May). Here is my new room mate, a wild dog named Copper. He is a stinky hound dog, but he likes me because I talk with him and take him on walks.

June 10 – I went to the temple with Sharice and her Mom and Aunt. Was my first semi-date and we all had an enjoyable time.

June 11 – I gave my sacrament talk about scars in the Silverstone Ward. Some people found it helpful.

July 2023

The Las Vegas Temple was closed for remodel between July 24 – Oct 24, 2023. I go to the temple often for comfort and help me deal with my grieving, so I was very worried with it being closed 3 months.

July 23 – Ben Harker died. He is the Father of my Mike and Phil Harker, my friends from Church and High School. Ben was kind to me (https://lapalomafuneralservices.com/benjamin-h-harker). I attended the funeral on August 7 and saw my friends.

Ben Harker Funeral – Jeff Jensen, Kathleen & David Boyack
Ben Harker Funeral – Steve “The King” Rock, Tex Dillard, Linda Carson (our 11yr old scout leader), Jeff Jensen

July 29 – Danny K called and said Felica Ball found Dad dead in the house he was living in. Thought was he was dead about 2-3 days. Alice, his wife was worried (they have been separated I think a couple of years) and asked her daughter, Felica to go over and check on him.

August 2023

August 17 – I went to Fred Astaire dance lesson with Jennifer B.

August 19 – Lilly Hoover was baptized by her father Brannan. While up in Meridian Idaho, we spread my Dad’s ashes on the grave of his grandpa – Benjamin Denmark Jensen.

Here is what Dixie told Ellie

August 26 – Dad’s funeral. Alice and her son Tommie, we met with Bishop Ciccotelli and the Relief Society President Sister Head in the Warm Springs Ward. They were great and so helpful in Dad’s funeral/celebration of life.

Lots of support from the cousins (Jensen & Dicus), Dad’s siblings – Aunt Nancy, Jean & Kathy, Uncle Jon

September 2023

3 sept 2023 – bear testimony last day in silverstone ward

I was released from my calling as 2nd counselor in the Elders Quorum Presidency. I loved serving with President Mike VanDerwerken, Cary Cahoon and Kayle Stephens

10 sept 2023 – new ward – lone mountain ward

Today was my first day at my new ward, Lone Mountain Ward in the Lone Mountain Stake, Las Vegas NV. I really loved my previous Silver Stone Ward so was nervous for the change. Lone Mountain Ward has a very kind Bishop, Ashton Cave, who has gone out of his way to make me feel included in the ward, and I am grateful for that.

Sept 6-8 – Got to visit both Andrew and Jennifer. Here is a picture of us at Mod Pizza.

October 2023

October 16 – CSN Dental cleaning by Olivia. She will complete her dental hygiene degree in May 2024. It has been very stressful for Olivia. I’m so proud of her and she keeps pushing forward.

Jeff & Olivia at CSN Dental Cleaning

October 20 – Fly out to visit Raquel, Will Taylor, Emmett Bean, JoJo and William Tell

We went to the Carolina Renaissance Festival but it was sold out. Here is a picture of Raquel and Will Taylor as we were walking to it. No pictures leaving as we were all to sad.

portland oregon temple – sealing dorothy dean reade to parents

I went to visit Jennifer Revere who lives outside Portland Oregon. While there, we went to the Portland Oregon Temple where we sealed my Mom (Dorothy Dean Reade) to her parents (Daniel Milton Reade and Dorothy Frances Woolway). Was a special experience to me as I feel Mom would love to visit with Jennifer.

ape caves

Ape Caves (https://www.wta.org/go-hiking/hikes/ape-cave) is a lava tube in southwest Washington. The cave entrance is about a third of the way up from the end. Easy walk inside when going to the bottom/end, but if you go towards the head/start then it is difficult. Seems like it was about 10 rock piles we had to climb. I heard about an 8′ rock wall that we would have to climb that I was worried about. Fortunately, previous hikes stacked a bunch of rocks at the bottom so it was only a 5′ high rock wall. I was able to lift Jennifer up, so that was kinda romantic.

Sting concert in portland oregon- Sept 26, 2023

Tex Dillard, who I lived with a couple of months has seen Sting in concert about 10 times. This was my first time. It was kool, Sting’s son Joe Sumner was the warm up band. I enjoy his song Hope.

Hope by Joe Sumner

My favorite song by Sting/Police is King of Pain. Note, I’m really just a Sting poser since I dislike/hate their most popular song – Roxanne.

October 2023

Oct 28 – Helped Jennifer and her son sell bulk potatoes in Springville UT. I was just the manual labor loading into cars.

When driving from Portland to Utah we got to see Brittany and Brannan at Cosentino Surfaces open house. I got this picture with Brittany. Then, on the drive back from Utah to Portland we dropped off a bag of potatoes to Brittany.

November 2023

Nov 11 – Bill Jensen, my counselor since 2017, came to Las Vegas enroute to St George UT. We got to visit over breakfast and visited the temple. He has helped me grow a great deal over the years.

Nov 22 – Mitchy-poo Jensen turns 3 years old. Cindy made him a Spiderman birthday cake, which he loved.

Nov 23-25 Thanksgiving. Andrew and Rachel came down from Salt Lake City. Cindy invited me over to the house along with Olivia, we all had Thanksgiving together. Then went to Downtown Summerlin so Mitchy-poo could get a Build-a-Bear stuffed animal.

December 2023

December 8 – Sister Sonics (Rylee Blackwell) returned home from her mission in Boise Idaho.

I also had a good counseling session with Rachel Gubler. For many years felt tired and things are heavy. I’ve been using my energies to keep me from feeling all the anger I’ve had bottled up, not being appreciated, unsupported and taken advantage of. Failure of having common goals and working together to achieve them. So much of my life and the direction I was going came to a dead end. Feeling that failure. Rachel had me lay down and screem in a pillow. I did this 3 sets with 3 reps each time. It felt like vomiting. All this frustration trying to work together but in the end feeling like a doormat, lied to, betrayed, stolen from, and so on. Jesus had to feel all these things before he could expierence joy.

December 12 – Jennifer Revere and I went to see the Blue Man Group at the Luxor in Las Vegas. Lots of fun.

14-mile bike ride at Clark County Wetlands Park which is very enjoyable, except “The Wetlands Loop Trail is paved from Mile 0 to 11.5. Due to flooding, the trail between Mile 13 and Mile 14 is impassible.”

https://www.google.com/maps/d/edit?mid=zgeD9eMtDHuI.kjOvGXHgt9DI

We went to Downtown Summerlin and purchased 4 chickens for someone in a 3rd world country at the Giving Machine by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Light The World Giving Machine

December 15-18 – I got to have Christmas rehearsal with Raquel in North Carolina.

Jeff, Adams Family and Firefighter Friend
Raquel & William – Practice Home Fire

December 23 – Olivia, Cindy and I fly to Meridan Idaho to spend Christmas with Brittany & Brannan.

1 Comment

  1. Sandy & Wayne

    Merry Christmas Jeff

    We both love you and are thinking about you.

    It was so nice to visit with you when you helped with our Dutch Oven event with Ethan and Wyatt, in sweet Idaho. thankful for your strong testimony of our savior.

    Reply

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